The Alabaster Jar (Luke 7 Woman: Diary Entry #3)
“---She brought a beautiful alabaster jar filled with expensive perfume. Then she knelt behind him at his feet, weeping. Her tears fell on His feet, and she wiped them off with her hair. Then she kept kissing His feet and putting perfume on them.” Luke 7:37-38
I gave him everything. Those words echoed in my heart, over and over.
Was it not enough?
Have you ever kept a hope chest? Or a shoebox with all your whatnots in it? A storage container of some sort that houses all your life’s keepsakes somewhere tucked away in a closet. If anyone had an opportunity to rummage through that box they would discover who you are, in and out. They could see your past, present and maybe your future.
I gave him my box in hopes of something in return. I gave my dreams, my hopes, fears, and failures. I gave him myself. I had given what was intimate and important to me. I had given it in hopes of something in return.
I wanted acceptance, love and understanding. Did he not see?
[She] had heard that Jesus was going to be there. She brought that jar of alabaster that meant so much to her. It was all she had. “A woman of the city” she was. Feeling emptied and misused, she brought her jar, herself, to the man named, Jesus.
She had always given to men [people, things]. It was a part of her profession. It was what she was known for. But this time, there was no economic exchange. She gave and received more than she could ever ask for. She must have gotten to Simon’s house before Jesus did. She waited patiently for Him to arrive.
Holding her jar tightly, she mustered up the courage. Pressing through the murmuring crowd that questioned her belonging, tears began to fall.
Noticing that her tears washed the dirt from His feet, she used her hair to dry them. But, she did more. As she washed His feet with her tears and dried them with her hair, despite the askance looks of the room, she emptied out the most expensive, most meaningful, most precious gift she had. Herself.
He was her Savior.
Pouring herself out to Him, all that she was, an act of courage, became an act of worship. Coram Deo.
Alabaster is a soft, fine-grained mineral stone. It is malleable and can take on the shape of whatever the artist desires. Natural light can permeate alabaster and it was used, during Jesus’ time, to house ointment or perfume. This particular stone kept the ointment or perfume pure and incorrupt, so it was most often used to keep expensive material.
I gave him everything.
I kneel on the floor in my living room, asking the Son to take it all. I pour out my alabaster heart to Him. I give Him the hurt, the rejection, the devastation, the trauma, the pain, the regret, the doubt and the fear.
Tears in my eyes, praying that what I have will be enough. Deep down inside, there is a knowing that whispers, “It is all I’ve ever wanted from you. I came to this place, to meet you here, at this very moment. I came here to see you.”
I ask that He reshape the form of my heart and pour Himself into me. He pours His oil in, let His light permeate. I ask the Son to replenish my oil and keep it pure and incorruptible.
A wise woman once told me, “You may have shared everything, but it is not yours to give. Therefore, you can always take it back, and give it to the One who it truly belongs to.”
I gave Him everything.
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